An Interview with Tamara Rice (Part II) regarding child sex abuse

An Interview with Tamara Rice:

 Regarding Sexual Abuse of Children

Part II:  If the Terrible Takes Place?

 

This is the conclusion of a two part interview, in which Tamara Rice answers questions concerning child sexual abuse.  If you have not read part one you may wish to read the first portion of the interview.  I am grateful for Tamara’s willingness to take time to reply to the questions I gave her, and trust you will find her answers helpful and informative.

 

What should one do if there is evidence or accusation of abuse?

What’s key once an allegation or signs of recent abuse surface, is that whether it was in a church or school or home, the immediate response must be to contact authorities. It’s not a pastor or elder’s job to investigate an allegation and see if it’s credible. That’s for the police and social workers. Every religious institution has to come to terms with this.

 

In cases where the abuse is so old that statutes of limitations are up or there are jurisdiction issues (foreign soil prior to the Protect Act of 2003, for example), authorities should also be contacted first. But if they are unable to take the case, a reputable third party team of investigators who are experienced in these abuse investigations should be hired, and (this is key) the victims need to be involved in choosing the investigative team.

 

Also key in responding to abuse is that the victim must take priority over the perpetrator. The victim is the vulnerable one, the victim is the one in need of the church’s protection. There is a time and place to offer the perpetrator mercy and grace, but that should never come at the victim’s expense. That should never come at the sacrifice of legal justice. That should never come at the expense of other children.

 

            A couple of months ago there were high profile credible reports of sexual abuse and sexual harassment involving Christian ministries.  It was at this time that your writings on these matters helped explain elements of abuse.  This helped change how I saw this problem.  I realized that in the New Testament, numerous sins entered the church and yet did not bring an end to the church’s God-given ministry.  But when a church chooses to cover-up sins; that does bring into question the reliability of a ministry’s proclamation of the Gospel.  Who is hurt when a church, school, or ministry covers up these sins rather than dealing fully with them?

Everyone is hurt. From the abuser—who gets no accountability for their sin and is free to go on abusing—to the victim (who is effectively told they are worthless, which is another act of abuse), to the ministry itself.

Hiding these sins—which are crimes, let’s be clear about that (and in many states it is also a crime not to report them)—becomes a cancer at the heart of the ministry. What we find is that ministries who have engaged in these cover-ups are either already emotionally manipulative and spiritually abusive or they become that way in order to keep their secrets. You don’t really hear: “I can’t believe that church/school/mission covered up abuse … their leadership is so spiritually healthy!” No, what you hear—what I hear from people who write to me, time and time again—is that these environments become (if they were not already) controlling and decidedly unhealthy places. They become toxic.

It is so much healthier to be transparent. When an allegation comes to light, what needs to be said is this: “This person who worked for us seems to have done a horrible thing, and we love him/her, we trusted him/her … but we also love and have compassion for the people they appear to have hurt and it’s important for us to do the right thing. It’s important for us to let the investigators do their jobs, and we encourage you to cooperate with them so the full truth can be known. In the mean time, we’re all devastated and we all need your prayers.”

Some ministries fear those words like they fear the wrath of God, and it is really, really sad. It’s really, really sad because those are the words that have the power to heal.

            I have one last question.  Are there any things you would like to say in addition to the questions you have answered, regarding abuse?

I think most Christians would say protecting children is vital. But how many would say that exposing a predator is vital to protecting children?

We have to get there as the Church. We have to grasp this and figure out how to do it well, do it out of love, do it with compassion and with concern for all. Has someone in your church molested a child? It IS your business. It IS NOT gossip. And it’s a piece of information that may hold the key for healing or protecting someone under your own roof.

            Thank you, Tamara Rice, for taking the time to participate in this interview.  I would like to add a comment endorsing something you have made clear in today’s answers.  It is vitally important that even if every defendant is to be recognized as innocent until proven guilty, that we consider it equally essential in the search for justice that every victim of abuse who comes forward is given the respect of having their allegation taken seriously and followed up with a faithful investigation.  There is perhaps no crime in which victims are so often re-victimized by the investigative and judicial process than when one comes forward to make an allegation against their abuser.  I thank you again Tamara for I think you have shed some much needed light on a matter we so easily seek to hide in the dark.